? ??????????????Victorias Secret Runway? ????? ?? ???Rating: 4.4 (52 Ratings)??784 Grabs Today. 11432 Tota
l Grabs. ??????Preview?? | ??Get the Code?? ?? ?????Lebron James? ????? ?? ???Rating: 3.7 (287 Ratings)??755 Grabs Today. 13760 Total Grabs. ??????Preview?? | ??Get the Code?? ?? ??? BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND TWITTER BACKGROUNDS ?

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

FOR THE LAST TIME: My Player-of-the-Year Debacle

Those close to me understand that there are certain things I will not be denied. I graduated college in 1998 and for 12 years I have told this story, pouted, and maybe even cried a little. Well, this year my office decided to put an end to my annoying rant. They gave me an amazing birthday gift as long as I promise to retire this damn story! So here it is for the LAST time, the story of how I was stripped of The Mid-Continent Player-of-the-Year Award. **Warning: Since this is the final relaying of the story, I tell it in excruciating detail. **

Now, this will sound completely cocky, but it’s necessary to set the stage. I headed into the 1997-98 CITGO Mid-Continent Basketball Tournament already breaking 2 national records, 8 school records, and 62 single performance records (that would go up to 64 after the tourney). This was back in the day when the conference still did an awards banquet. We were in Moline, IL playing at The Mark. The banquet was held at this fantastic hotel called Jumer’s Castle. It was an actual castle, it was awesome.

I even remember what I wore to the event – it was very Bollywood. It was a long, muted citrus orange pencil skirt with a brightly colored Chevron patterned tunic. And I accessorized with a Liz Picasso necklace I bought in San Francisco with garage sale money. (I had a garage sale to fund my summer vacation to S.F)

Anyway, it was your standard awards banquet, until it came time to award the Player-of-the-Year. The banquet emcee announced that it was time to award the highest honor in Mid-Continent basketball (his words not mine). “And the 1997-98 Mid-Continent Player-of-the-Year is. . . . . a senior from Southern Utah, Myndee Larsen!” My team went wild and I’m pretty sure Chelsey Wornell yelled something inappropriate which is fantastic. I had the proper shocked but grateful facial expression as I proceeded to the podium to shake Commissioner Steinbrecher’s hand and accept my award.

As we were filing out of the banquet room, I was stopped by a certain Mid-Con staffer who was 6’6” and some might say dashing. He asked if he could have the award back to get the name engraved on it. There is a high percentage chance I would have given this guy my shirt if he had asked for it, so handing over the plaque was easy. Later it would all become clear why they sent the hot guy in and it would be the last time I saw that award.

My team went on to beat UMKC in the quarters and lose to Youngstown state in the semis – and that was a wrap on my college basketball career. We traveled back to C-town and went on with our lives and Pizza Factory lunch specials.

I know this will be hard to believe, but I actually forgot about the award. Coach Hillock was the one who remembered, and as May approached, called the conference office to inquire about its whereabouts. This is where the scandal begins. It was explained to Coach Hillock that there was a technicality. Essentially, the Mid-Con has two separate votes for Player-of-the-Year. There was a media vote and a head coaches’ vote. It seems 99.9% of the time these groups picked the same person as player of the year. Therefore, the conference traditionally issued a single award.

In a unique (0.01%) turn of events, the media chose me as Player-of-the-Year but the head coaches chose Sandy Shores from Oldtown State. (I’m changing names to protect myself when I start ripping on them) It turns out the conference office made an interpretation that the coaches’ vote should carry more weight than the media, so they re-awarded the Player-of-the-Year to Sandy Shores.

I’ve spent entirely too much time researching Sandy’s stats and I can’t find much. I could just walk over to the communications wing of our office and ask for her stats. But they would know why I wanted them and we have a strict mock people to their face policy in our office. So, it has been a lot of futile internet research. Basically, in Sandy’s senior year she scored 373 point for a 13.8 average, I scored 618 for a 22.0 average. There are no rebounding stats on Sandy because she didn’t rebound. Then I took us head-to-head in the tournament, and keep in mind she played one more game than me and had that much more opportunity to put up numbers. In three games, Sandy averaged 4 point and 4 rebounds. In two games, I averaged 30 points and 11.5 rebounds. I always knew those media people were smart, that’s why journalism was one of my three majors.

I digress, back to Coach Hillock on the phone with the Mid-Con. Jumpin’ Joe gets the news and then he does his thing. He ranted and raved and gasped for breath all in my honor. The conference office finally conceded and said they would have an award sent my way. Well, 12 years later and I’m still checking the mailbox.

Something else came out of this fiasco, the league changed the rule. There is no longer a separate media vote and head coaches’ vote. It's one vote with the coaches’ vote weighted more heavily than the media vote. It was actually called The Myndee Larsen Rule for the first couple years after its inception.

My biggest disappointment was that at this young point in my life, I was unaccustomed to not being liked. Trust me, I’m used to it now! But back then, I couldn’t figure out why all these coaches didn’t like me. I mean I averaged 22 and 10 against Youngstown, broke the consecutive field goal record against UMKC, set SUU’s new block record against ORU, pulled myself out of the game against Chicago State after I scored 40 and the CSU girls offered to help me get 60 with 17 minutes left, and I cut myself off after 33 points against WIU so that I would end my career on the Centrum floor scoring Larry Bird’s number. What’s not to love? See, I’m not bitter about this situation at ALL. I also am really not this egotistical and I realize this paragraph is unnecessary and uncalled for, but I’ll leave it in anyway. ;)

Coach Hillock believed coaches voted for Sandy Shores because it was our first year in the league and coaches wanted to reward a veteran player who had paid her Mid-Con dues. You can see how I understood and was able to let this all go.

So basically, the whole thing left me the media darling with no hardware to prove it. And I’ve been spinning my yarn ever since. Fortunately, in 2007, the league added three new schools. Fresh meat, and I was able to take them through the horror of my situation all over again. In 2011, the University of South Dakota comes on board. But unfortunately, The Summit League staffers have ensured the Yotes won’t have to hear it.

On February 10, 2010, in a small but tasteful luncheon (Vanessa made Emeril’s Jambalaya pasta and Carmel Apple Pecan Pie, Tom & Brenda supplied the cupcakes), The Summit League officially presented me with my Player-of-the-Year plaque with the caveat that I shut the hell up! Consider it done folks, right after this blog entry!

To summarize, I just had to spend 12 years working my way up the athletic administration ladder until I could quit my job in C-town and infiltrate the home office in Elmhurst – then voila! I’m Player-of-the-Year Suckas!

All kidding aside, I think it’s pretty evident I work with some amazing people. It really did mean a lot to me that they honored my hoop career for my birthday, even if I did have to beat them into submission. Thanks you guys, you rock! Now if I can just get Commissioner Steinbrecher to don the Mid-Con lapel pen one more time, I can get the scrapbook photo.

It took a little over a decade but I persevered and got my plaque. And if Southern Utah thinks I’ve forgotten about my stolen jersey or that I’m gonna be okay with some vinyl banner bolted to the wall, they’ve got another thing coming. Looks like I’ve got my new crusade!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

On The Wings of Love - Where's the Air Sickness Bag?

Nothing like a Bachelor finale to bring the blog out of retirements after a year hiatus!

There's so much, I don't even know where to start. The most dram tic question in Bachelor history has been, "Why Vienna?" Besides the producers telling Jake to pick her, I have a theory:

Jake says his nickname in high school was "Mr. Dateless." Shocking, I know, since we learned early on that he throws a football more like Kim Kardashian and less like Reggie Bush. This being the case, he missed out on a valuable rite of passage in the male development process:


It sounds like poor Jake couldn't even get the Goth Girl to meet him behind the bleachers, blurring the line in adulthood of lust vs. love. Just like every girl who is devastated by her first bad boy, Jake is destined to be heartbroken when Vienna does the skank of shame shuffle onto her next free ticket. One sparkle of a rhinestone from a Jon Gosselin Ed Hardy T-shirt catches Vienna's eye and there's a synthetic hair love story waiting to happen. Besides, I'm pretty sure Vienna is contracted to stay with Jake through Jason and Molly's wedding a la Bob and Estella.

Let me just bullet point a few of my other pertinent thoughts:

1. I don't doubt that Tenly has been dropped out of a Disney movie, dreams in cartoons, and even craps rainbows. But exactly what slutty princess did she borrow her "After the Final Rose" dress from? Tenly, that was a shirt, you forgot your pants sweetie. Somewhere Mickey Mouse is blushing.

2. Ali's dress, however, was flawless. The one shoulder, butterfly sleeve was elegant and understated. Speaking of Ali, you know that she was pegged pretty early by the producers as a viable Bachelorette candidate. Once you learn of Ali's profession, the whole exit scenario seems pretty ridiculous. The Red Cross wasn't calling her in for Haiti relief, Wall Street didn't need her help with the Dow, and Toyota didn't ask her to testify before Congress. She is a Facebook Account Executive. All I can say is somebody's mafia war must have gone loco!

3. I loved when Jake proposed with the ring box, that you couldn't even see the ring because the camera was zoomed in on the Neil Lane logo. We get it Mr. Lane, you are a sponsor. We needed the glare of the diamond to blind us from Vienna's roots.

4. Really? Did ABC just bring out Jeffrey Osborne for a live performance of "On the Wings of Love?" Where did they even find him? I suggested to my friend Vanessa that he should fire his agent. She said, "The way i see it, he's the only winner of the night as thousands of 20-somethings are googling his name right now." Good point, and he may score some royalties from the I-tunes downloads. Vanessa also suggested that the next bachelor should be a sea captain so ABC can bring in Christopher Cross to sing "Sailing" at the finale. (No, "Sailing" is NOT an N*SYNC song, they just covered it.) Vanessa is funny, she should have her own HBO comedy special.

5. We've seen Jake dance A LOT this season. I'd just like to say to 70-year old astronaut Buzz Aldrin, you got nothing to worry about on Dancing With The Stars!

Finally, I will be involved in the semi-finals of The Summit League Basketball tournament during Jason and Molly's Wedding Extravaganza. So, please text me if it becomes the most dramatic wedding in Bachelor history. I don't really know what they can do to top Trista and Ryan filling an hourglass with their own personal sands of their times. Barf. I really do need that air sickness bag.